I don’t mean to blow my horn but I know that I look good and it is funny that sometimes others don’t know how to handle it. For the guys, it’s almost shocking how this guy looks and some will even feel a little weird for acknowledging it. For the girls, they will either fall hands down deeply in love or not want anything to do with a man of such beauty. I know I am devilishly handsome and I want to say it has nothing to do with the devil. It is a blessing from God. Also, it’s not that big a thing.
We are all beautifully and wonderfully made and we are all made in the image and likeness of God. As such, we are all very handsome and very beautiful and this is the message I want to relay to you. The way you look doesn’t really matter and you don’t need good looks to find love, to love yourself, or to be loved by others. My name is David Mania and this is a story of why ‘handsome’ isn’t a ticket to glory. Devilishly handsome doesn’t cut me any corners.
I Know I Look Good
I do not go out there saying I am handsome or devilishly handsome but I know I look good. It is never mentioned and others rarely mention it. The guys don’t say it. My dude friends aren’t like “oh bruh, wewe ni mhandsome” or you are handsome. No. The guys are mostly too homophobic or afraid of weirdness, but the real ones acknowledge. The girls won’t say it. They wouldn’t dare. They think that uttering the word “handsome” is like giving me an atomic bomb to blow their hearts away. They act like I am not devilishly handsome and it is quite hilarious to see them grapple with what to do about it. They love me and for the most part, I love them too. I bet my exes will admit that losing the boy wasn’t easy.
Respectfully, it wasn’t easy for me too and everyone I have known and loved and everyone to me is very beautiful and yes, handsome too. Looks are like icing on the cake. It can be as little or as much but what matters is what the cake is. i.e. who you are and what you stand for or do not stand for. As such, even as I acknowledge I look good and some would or I would define that as handsome, this is by no means a beating of my chest.
I'm Not 'Devilishly Handsome' to Everyone
I may be devilishly handsome to some and ugly to others. It is all a matter of perspective. For instance, I may find a girl to be drop-dead gorgeous and a friend may find her to be just averagely beautiful. Again, I want to denounce that. You are as beautiful and as handsome as hell. Own that, and love you for who you are. Even if you have a skin problem or a scar or have burnt some of your face. I want you to know that you are so beautiful and so handsome that the mirror sometimes blushes when it sees you.
Physical beauty or handsomeness is just superficial and it should not mean much. The same goes for your body type or your physical build. I think of that just as hardware. You could have the best and biggest hardware but have such poor software i.e. who you are on the inside, that it is just a bad system or a let-down, if I may. As such, work on not only building how you look and how your body is but also work on who you are. The software as I call it is what is most important. Remember that.
The Conundrum of Power
Ladies will treat a devilishly handsome boy like me as not handsome in the hope that I do not get full of myself. I understand it and respect that to them, it feels like giving up power. The same goes for when I tell a girl that she is beautiful. It validates her and she will sometimes become too proud or act indifferent just for the mere fact that I uttered the word. It is unfortunate that when you are told that you are beautiful or handsome that could translate to pride. I want to denounce that.
Do not act like you are too good just because you have been appreciated. I feel like most times when I tell or when a guy tells a girl she is “beautiful”, it is often not meant as it sounds like and the guy would probably be just 'simping' i.e. acting in a certain way and saying that in search of something in return. As such, the conundrum of power when it comes to physical appearance is the difficulty in acting that the object of that kind of appreciation or affection develops out of the appreciation.
Essentially, telling someone that they are beautiful or handsome could lead them to develop pride and I would say that, sometimes, it is better not to say it or at least to say it very rarely. I don’t think anyone wants to be with someone who thinks they are extremely beautiful or even to make someone feel that they are that beautiful. This is true for the ladies, she will treat you wrong if you make her feel that she is too beautiful or too irreplaceable. Forgive me for saying it but if you become too self-important then it is likely that you may treat the other person wrong. It may be fitting but it is by no means proper.
Facial appearances have a lot to do with self-esteem and according to me, I don’t think that that should be the case. Even as others may not see it, you know who you are inside and if you know that that is good, then you should have self-esteem and pride in knowing that you’re good enough. You should love yourself thoroughly regardless of how you appear or look on the outside.
Your self-esteem should have nothing to do with your physical or facial appearance. Appreciate yourself for who you are inside, and let how you look on the outside be an added advantage or what I am calling ‘icing on the cake’. We are all such wonderful and beautiful beings and knowing that will save you a lot of trouble when it comes to your self-esteem and even your self-respect. Unfortunately, some will disrespect themselves because they think they are not beautiful.
Respect that You're Fearfully and Wonderfully Made
Respect that you are fearfully and wonderfully made and even as you may feel that you do not look as good as you want, do not disrespect yourself. Most times people will try and change how they look much to the detriment of their inherent beauty or handsomeness. It is true that if you go changing something about your physical appearance, you are likely to ruin what is already there. Think of Michael Jackson and his plastic surgery. Mike ruined his handsome black skin only to get plastic skin as a replacement. Why on earth would you go get a procedure literally called ‘plastic’ surgery? Love you. Love your black skin.
Even when being black means being discriminated against, love your black skin! I know you may be being called names like the N-word but please love you and love how you look. Love your African heritage and know that melanin is beautiful. That chocolate dark skin is everything, my girl! It is. Your nappy hair or your curls are everything. Everything! In Kenya, we say, “jipende” which directly translates to love yourself. I want you to know that you are beautiful and devilishly handsome, and it would be such a loss and so unfortunate that you could be looking down on yourself out of a false sense of not looking good or good enough.
Never Look Down on Others
Never look down on others. You could be a supermodel or be in a slew of the top fashion magazines but never look down on others because you think you look better or more beautiful or more handsome. The same goes for me. Devilishly handsome never interferes with or appears in the equation of how I relate with or treat others. Your beauty or handsomeness is a gift from God and just like it was given, it can be taken away. Beware of that. Let’s learn to love ourselves and how we look but we should not and can not allow that to make us feel like we are better.
When someone treats me like anyone else I do not feel offended at all. I appreciate that they understand looks are just looks and I respect them for realizing that. I know that even if I tell them they are beautiful they won’t act indifferent. It tells me that they get that looks are just looks and I feel that how we both look won’t get in the way of, or interfere with how we relate with one another. You look good and you are beautiful or handsome as hell! Yes. You are literally that good-looking. I mean, have you seen yourself?