I have been living in Ongata Rongai for just over five years now, and in that time, I have met several people. However, I have only had a few friends. I think it’s more of a personality thing because I am very socially shy, and I always have something that keeps me busy and away from crowds.
You would say that I like to keep my circle small, and that is true, but I am also, in a way, not very socially outgoing. I like to have a manageable group of friends. A small, quiet, not too fun-loving group that will be comfortable enough but not overly wild. In my view, your friends are a reflection of you and bad friends will lead you to bad things as much as good friends will lead you to good things. Additionally, bad people will say bad things about you as a reflection of who they are and not necessarily reflect who you are.
We're All Alone
The bitter truth is that we are always alone. Alone in the sense that you are your own person, an individual. Your life is your own, and only you should have the most influence over yourself. Friends are good, but only a handful or fewer will really be true friends. Most times, people make friendships for convenience or to share activities or hobbies.
The unfortunate thing is that such friends will not add any value to your life and are meaningless beyond your activities together. We may also feel like we want friends just to fit in, and that will not only get us involved in things we don’t like but will also be detrimental to becoming the person we want to be. Why waste your time trying to fit in when you are a unique individual?
The Average Thinking that Comes Crowd Mentality
Crowd mentality indicates that your intelligence as a unit is an average of all the group members when in a group. If you look at it that way, chances are that you are dumbed down by being in a group of friends who are not really that good. Being in a crowd, therefore, inhibits conscious decision-making. I mean no disrespect, and I am only saying that sometimes if your friends lead you nowhere, you are better off alone.
The Reality of Peer Pressure
Peer pressure is actually real, and bad friends will get you into addictions, and crime and even erode your principles. There is also the issue of social classes, and I would recommend having friends with who you share the same social class. You don’t want friends that will always make you feel poor and with whom you can barely afford anything. Find friends who relate to the point you are in life and who do not pressure you, directly or indirectly, to try and fit into a lifestyle that you cannot afford.
Do You Have Any Real Friends?
Friendship is good, and Lord knows I have a few real friends. These are the kind of friends you know their whole family, visit them, and are like family. Those are the friends you should keep. Friends who are just there when things are good or only when partying or celebrating are not really your friends.
Your friends should also share the same interests as you regarding a career and what you want to do with your life. Real friends encourage you to follow your own path and to be your best self. Real friends will be honest and always be there for you, no matter how bad the situation is. Friends who are just there like shoes only fit you until you grow and will quickly have excuses for not being there when you need them.
The Need for Positivity in Life
Social life is important, and in my personal opinion, it should be one that positively adds to your life. I like to say that ‘if it does not add to your happiness, then it takes away from it.” That is so true. Do not engage yourself in friendships or relationships which are untrue, unreal, or meant to help you fit in.
It would be better to stand out, be unique, and have fewer friends. I don’t know why we are so afraid to be unique. It is like this fear of happiness and even feeling guilty for being happy alone. It really just doesn’t make sense. Be you, love you, and love yours. Social life should also only come after God, family, and your profession.
The Pursuit of Happiness
I love my life, and I honestly think that I am the happiest person I know. I know it sounds selfish, but it is true. I adore my life. I feel so happy knowing that I got me. I don’t need anyone to complete me or to build on my happiness. I am happy as I am. I cherish my alone time, and I love just being me and being free.
It doesn’t matter that I may feel like I am missing out because I know that I am not missing out on myself. I do what I want when I want it and how I want it. That, to me, is complete freedom. It brings me utter joy to be a lone wolf; an individual who navigates life on their own terms without letting anyone or anything get in their pursuit of happiness.
I guess the question now is, do I have a social life? Yes, I do. I have at least a few friends who I think are good people. I spend my days doing what I love, and I make sure that I do something that brightens my day every day. An excellent example is taking walks and doing photography, as we saw in The Hippo Hangout and David Mania Photography. I love not having any pressure to go party or go out or anything like that. I do what I want, what I can afford, and what makes me happy. To me, that is complete freedom and happiness.
'The Blindfold Phenomenon'
Would I like to meet new people and make new friends? Yes, I definitely would. However, I believe that the universe only lets you meet who you are meant to meet, so I do not pressurize myself to meet new people. I appreciate those who I have met and lead my life like there is no one else. I would call that the ‘blindfold phenomenon.’ In a sense, it means that I do not see or care for what I don’t have. I heard somewhere that “it is not about wanting what you do not have, it is about wanting what you have.”
“It is not about having what you want, it is about wanting what you have.”
That is how I think we should all lead our lives, fulfilled, content, and happy. Moreover, whatever you want will come to you if you work hard for it and follow your own path.
My social life is only getting better, and as I grow older and learn more about life, I believe I will have enough life experience to be a better judge of character. Taking a chance is good, but I will let the universe do its own thing and allow it to lead me only to those who will matter in my life.
I will not force anything on myself, and I will not pressure myself to live a seemingly idyllic life. I will live my own life and love it. I will want what I have and, hopefully, have what I want. I will not care for the latter but only bother myself with the former.
Being Ready for Your Blessing
Life is wonderful and amazing and can be so fulfilling if you position yourself for happiness. I call it ‘being ready for your blessing.’ I am more and more disinterested in virtual friendships or relationships, and I am more pulled toward in-person engagements. Technology is a good thing but can sometimes create a false illusion of being friends with people you meet, talk to or engage with online.
My Only Friends are those that are Physically Here with Me
I neglect that illusion. Those that matter to me are only those who are here. Everyone else is just an avatar in a world of technology that I do not live in. The same goes for love. I do not want any long-distance relationships where we only meet virtually. I would dare say I can only love you if you are here. Otherwise, it is out of sight, out of mind.